#7 Mapei/Menards Lifelock.com 400

Pre Race Report

·         Going Back to the City of Broad Shoulders – Robby Gordon Motorsports travels to the friendly mid-west confines of Joliet for the Lifelock.com 400 race at Chicagoland Speedway. Gordon’s #7 Camry will be sponsored by Mapei and Menards this week. Over the last two races that Rob has driven the #7 Toyota, his team as finished a very strong 2^nd and 12^th and has solidified their position in the top 35.

·         Tear Offs and Tiara’s – While Team Gordon finished an extremely solid 12th at Daytona last week, there were moments of concern throughout the race. Rob noted early in the race that he was experiencing a bad vibration, likely from the #7’s drive train. He also was concerned about keeping his fenders clean and deployed his time-tested strategy of keeping well out of harm’s way by racing in the back of the field. But the biggest concern of the evening had to do with keeping the front windscreen clean and clear. Chief tear off engineer Walt had his hands full all night, including the deployment of the risky “double tear off” strategy, a move that nearly cost Gordon severely in the form unwanted bug debris in his recently polished teeth.

·         NASCAR to Try Hair Extensions – In a move that is certain to gain even greater TV ratings, NASCAR has agreed to provide hair extensions to all of its employees, crews and drivers. NASCAR boss Bill Francis Jr. commented on the new policy. “It’s no secret we’ve had lower attendance figures and less-than-optimal television rates this year, in part due to a decrease in women viewers in the 30-45 year old demographic, or the so-called ‘Cougar Crowd’. So we’ve contracted with the good folks at Extenze to provide their product in the hope that the entire NASCAR family is looking good follickly.” Noted Cougar Crowd spokeswomen Camile Tow was dubious that the move would improve ratings but was certain the women of her organization would welcome the new policy. “My goodness, we’ve been waiting on NASCAR for years to finally do something about male patterned stiffness.”

Robby Gordon quotes: “I think we got a great finish last week out of a car that could have been better. Were it not for a last-lap incident in front of me, I believe he would have had a top-ten finish. But we did the smart thing, points wise, and came out with a clean car and perhaps more importantly, a lot of momentum heading into Chicago.”

Gene Nead quotes: “Well, I thought the crew did a good job and I was pleased with how hard the team worked to get us this finish. Our stuff is getting better and better every week and I like the direction we’re heading. Now, if I could only find a way to make use of my oh-so-abundant bouquet of fingers, I’ll be in good shape….by the way, where’s Rowdy?”

Editor’s Note: Back again for your viewing pleasure, I’m pleased to present our next Monster girl. I’m sure she too will enjoy NASCAR’s new Extenze policy.