#7 Monster Energy Daytona 500

Pre Race Report

·         From Dakar to Daytona – Robby Gordon Motorsports starts its 2010 NASCAR campaign in fine fashion with the grand daddy of all races, the Daytona 500. After both a very successful rally in South America and a SpeedWeeks worth of practice, sponsor events, qualifying runs and the Duel race, Robby Gordon is ready to make some NASCAR noise on Sunday by starting 34^th on the grid.  

·         “Mommy, there’s a monster in my closet” – In typical Robby Gordon aplomb, Monster Energy – one of the leading energy drink makers – has signed the dotted line and will serve as primary sponsor for a number of NASCAR and other on-and off-road events in 2010 with RGM, including the 500. Having seen the Monster Energy web site, this editor was intrigued by the comely women of Monster, otherwise known as Monster Girls. One MG in particular caught my fancy and graces this post with her presence. Whether MG or MILF, Ms. Evelyn Hernandez has my vote as the Ms. Camile Tow.

·        Danica, Shmanica – The newest member of the NASCAR boys club is none other than IRL cream puff and shower commercial diva Danica Patrick. Ms. Patrick will be getting her feet wet in the he-man-women-haters club lesser event, otherwise known as the Nationwide Series, with an eye toward really lathering up with a luffa and joining the big-boy Cup series at a future date. Ms. Patrick noted how she is looking forward to rubbing paint with the fellows this year. “I’m especially looking forward to getting to know all the wives of the drivers and sharing pot-luck recipes and trying on my new Nomex capri pants.”

Robby Gordon quotes: “Well, here we are again and I couldn’t be more pleased with how Monster Energy has really stepped-up in a big way. I’m confident the boys have built me solid piece for the 500 and we plan to take this F1-like beast to the front. Now you’ll have to excuse me, Evelyn is having a clothing malfunction and she says is important that I bring along her favorite impact gun.”

Ian Watt quotes: “I’m very pleased to serve as Robby’s new crew chief. Lucky for me, Kirk Almquist had such neat handwriting…all of his notes are very legible, although I’m not sure why he dotted all his “I’s” with a heart. At any rate, we’re prepared to call a good race, give RG great pit stops, and keep the shinny side facing up.”